dreams, Goals, life coach, Possibilities, Uncategorized

But I Have Wings!

But I Have Wings!

Sometimes we don’t like any of our options and we feel stuck in indecision.  But there’s always another option. You know all those things you crossed off your list because they seemed impractical or even impossible?  Or maybe you decided against something because it seemed too selfish. 

Maybe it’s time to look at them again. 

If it were possible, what would you do to get there?

What could you do to make your choice more practical? 

If you’re worried about being selfish–is it really so bad to consider a decision that would make you happy?  

Don’t settle for walking when you could fly.  


Photo by David Mercer


life coach, New Year Resolutions, Possibilities, Resolutions, Uncategorized


It’s time to change News Year’s Resolutions to New Year’s Possibilities.

silhouette of hand
Photo by Vraj Shah on Pexels.com

Let’s see…

Lose weight. Quit smoking. Get in shape.  

Does that about cover it? Don’t forget to set a regimen so severe that you’re bound to fail in the first week.

Enough with the shame inducing resolutions.  Shame sucks out all the energy and feeds us the message that we are inadequate.

You’re not inadequate. You have endured.  That makes you amazing.

Why don’t we make this the year of possibilities? What could happen? What could you accomplish? What do you want next?

Doors will be opened in 2019. Make a resolution that you will see every opportunity and choose the ones that are best for you. Perhaps you will make your own opportunity. 

This is gonna be your year.  I believe in you.   


What Do I Mean by “Life Coach?”

I became a pastor at the age of nineteen. It’s the only work I’ve ever done. My favorite part of the job was sitting down with people to help them with their troubles. Nothing gave me greater satisfaction.   

I had to leave my religious career behind because my beliefs changed but I still do the work. 

As a Life Coach I use the skills I obtained in my training as a pastor. I help people when they’re in crisis. I’m there for them in times of grief. I listen and advise those who struggle with difficult problems.  I encourage others to face their fears and chart a course for their new lives.

I’ve been doing this work for thirty-seven years. For me, life coaching is ministry without the religion.     

Need to talk? Call or email me to set up a free initial consultation on the phone. 



Healing, Illness, Medical, Uncategorized

The Courage to Call for Help

A long time ago when I was still a pastor, I went to the home of one of my people because I could see she hadn’t been feeling well. When we sat down in her living room I told I was worried and I wondered if she was sick..  She denied it and said she was fine; however, I persisted, encouraging her to see her doctor.

She refused.

“Why?” I pressed.

She let the question hang in the air for a moment before she confessed quietly: “I’m afraid I’ll find out I have cancer.”   


She’d recently lost her husband and a sister to cancer. She was a sturdy woman, but grief can steal even a strong person’s courage.  I took another moment to let her process her own words.

“You might have cancer,” I agreed, “But then, we don’t know that. Maybe it’s something else. Whatever it is, perhaps the doc will be able to help you feel better.” 

She nodded glumly.

“Would you let me make an appointment for you?” I said as I picked up the phone.

“Yes,” she whispered.

And I did.  She went in later that week.

Turns out she didn’t have cancer but her blood pressure was dangerously high.  She took the medicine prescribed and started feeling better. A few days later, she thanked me. 

I was happy to help but I didn’t do that much. I was there, I noticed, and I said something. And it was enough to help her summon her courage to get well. 

We can get stuck in our fear because it’s not just fear. It’s confusion and sadness combined with an ailing body. Gathering the strength to get better seems impossible but encouragement from a friend can work wonders.  Maybe we can’t afford a major medical bill but we could at least go to the doctor to talk things over.

Perhaps you’re in that situation now. You’re not just sick—you’re isolated and though you hate to admit it, you’re afraid.

Believe me, I understand but if you feel bad can I ask a favor?  For this moment, consider me a friend who cares for you (We may never have met but in fact I really do care for you). Let me nudge you by saying how much I would appreciate it if you would pick up the phone and call a doctor.  Chances are, you could start feeling better.   

Christianity, life coach, Magic, Power, spirituality, Uncategorized

It’s Not Magic

2016-10-14 161496366783..jpgWouldn’t it be great if we could wave our hands and say an incantation that would  make our unhappiness go away in the blink of an eye? Believe me, if I had any magic words I would to give them to you.  

But in all my years of helping people, I’ve never seen change come magically.  However, I have seen power come to people through their courage, wisdom, and patience. 

As a Life Coach, I can help you find your strength and plan your next course of action.  And when the changes come, it won’t be because you found magic. It’ll be because you found your power.   


Please note: I am not a psychotherapist. Mental illness is nothing to be ashamed of but it requires the help of a therapist. 

Photos on this page by Sylvia Kirkendoll Mercer



Christianity, Clergy, Pastors, spirituality, Uncategorized

Pastors: No One Knows Who They Really Are

It’s interesting how pastors are either villainized or canonized. If you’re a pastor, you’re either a child of God or the devil’s spawn, but never a real person.

at the commissioning service cropped

I know better.  I grew up in a pastor’s home and I became one myself. I know that all ministers are people. Granted, some of them are selfish prima donnas. Some do notable work with huge churches (and sometimes they’re the same prima donnas). 

But most ministers are nice people who work too hard but never feel like they’ve done enough and they never feel that they succeed. They live in the public eye but they’re the loneliest people on the planet.  They speak of truth but they harbor many secrets. They can’t trust anyone. People in the congregation may try to be supportive but they rarely know how.  And there’s always a few who feel that it’s their duty to attack ministers (and their families). Consequently, pastors suffer greatly, and their families suffer with them, also in secret. 

When I left the church I promised myself I would not desert my colleagues and their families.   I am the person who can hear, understand, and advise pastors.  I may not agree with their beliefs but that’s not the point. These people are wounded healers who often need the support of a fellow human. And I’m going to be someone who offers it to them.



Photo of David Mercer by Jennifer Finley



What Do You Want?

What do you want?

at the beach side hotelIt’s hard to answer that question. Often, we have many conflicting feelings to sort through first. Sometimes, we only know what we don’t want, but that’s not enough. Sometimes in our confusion, we make poor decisions that hurt everyone.

Over the years, I’ve helped many people talk through their confusion to find their clarity. When we decide what we want then we can make a plan.

I discuss this a little more in the two previous posts.

If I can be of help, please contact me. I’ll be glad to hear from you.




Photos by Sylvia Kirkendoll Mercer